A Rant about someone's Penis and Balls

So we all know about compensation right? It's where a guy is upset about the size of his penis, and does something to counterbalance that by putting forward an obnoxious display of power. Some people do it by working out until their penis really doesn't show, some people do it by being really arrogant, and some people do it by buying larger cars than they need.

The Germans have been doing it for years

Last week I saw the biggest compensation device of my life as I was driving to the dentist. I pulled up behind a LARGE SUV. There were a few stickers on the back of it. One was an Army sticker, one was a firefighter sticker, and one was a Jesus sticker. All three of which were clearly for compensation. He also had something done to his wheels apparently, had those big rims going on. Poor guy, I wonder if he even has 3 inches worth?

Then I saw something that made me feel horrible for the guy. Usually when you compensate, you are upset about your shaft dimensions, and so you do something really over the top and phallic to make up for it. Clearly, he had done that. However, there was something more... something... terrifying. Hanging from the back of his SUV were a pair of balls. Not like, spherical balls. These were TESTICLES. Yes, roughly human sized metallic testicles. It was like looking at an not neutered bulldog from behind.

Where did these balls come from? Is it a southern thing? I bet it's a fucking southern thing. The poor bastard not only has an itty bitty peenie, he also has TINY BALLS! I for one would be glad to have tiny balls if I had a tiny penis. Certainly, there would be less of the peeing all over your own gonads problem, right? This guy however was not satisfied with mitigating his lack of penis size, he felt the need to also let the ladies know that he was sorry for his lack of ball mass, and he would try extra hard to be a jackass to make it up to them.

Why the south will never rise again