Today I make a Public Service Announcement about Michael R. Paulin. This man is a terrifying individual and you should avoid him at all costs. I have known Mike for about a decade now, and not a day has gone by where I have not feared for my life or sanity.
Where is your God now?
Mike has been my roommate for the past 2 1/2 years, and my life has just become scarier and scarier. A few weeks ago, I was laying on the couch watching TV with Meg, who was sitting in a chair. I started rocking back and forth for some reason, looked over to Meg, and she asked me if we were having an earthquake. I noticed that Meg was rocking back and forth not under her own power. Beyond Meg I saw the light stand and DVD rack rocking back and forth. Turns out we were not in an Earthquake, but Mike was rocking the entire apartment from his bedroom. He was moving me and Meg back and forth where we were sitting, from the other side of the building. Mike Paulin was getting his freak on, and it was earthshaking.
Feel the super retarded power of Mike's manhood
So that's it basically, Mike f***ed both of his roommates, Meg and I will never be the same. We live in constant fear. You think I'm paranoid? Here's a message I got today from Mike via gmail:
Hey Ed, let's play hide and go rape tonight.
You hide.
I might be the only thing stopping Mike from being unleashed upon the world. I think I might deserve the congressional medal of honor. Meg should probably get a purple heart too. Pray for us.
Winning his favourite game...
8 comments:
I am pretty terrified. Someone needs to harness the power of Mike's sexual drive as an alternative fuel source.
I like it, New Alternative Energy found- Mike having sex.
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